Sia: Christina Dells Well With Ongoing Pressure

When I was 10, I really wanted to be famous. I first sang in my parents’ rockabilly band, then, aged 19, I packed my bags and left my homeland, Australia, with a round-the-world plane ticket. I settled in London, and by 22 I’d recorded my first solo album. I’ve made three solo albums since, as well as three with Zero7, and I’ve collaborated with Natasha Bedingfield, Christina Aguilera and Beck. I went from being a nobody, to having one or two fans outside the stage door, to maybe 60, screaming and drunk, all wanting autographs, photos of us together and hugs. Some people crave this sort of attention, but for a sensitive person, fame is a recipe for disaster. I love making and performing music, but the social contract around it can be so unhealthy.

When I started going out with JD Samson (of Le Tigre), I was outed by Perez Hilton as bisexual. I suddenly started being asked a lot of personal questions, which was really difficult. I’d had a relationship with a woman when I was 20, but nobody cared then. As it came at the same time as my fame, it made me withdraw, and I started to have panic attacks. It was then that I was prescribed antidepressants — fame made me develop a panic disorder. When I stop doing this job, I know I won’t need them.

Having become friends with Christina Aguilera, I can see she deals with it amazingly well. She has made a little world for herself at home with everything you could possibly need (a cinema, even), because she can’t leave without zillions of paparazzi pursuing her; when she does, she has security the whole time. For her, the pluses outweigh the minuses. I could develop more boundaries, but the fact is, I don’t need to be the star any more. I don’t need to sing in front of thousands, as I can sing in the shower. The accolades don’t nourish me — being with loved ones and my dogs does.